Always Laughing

Also, I just tightened the hell out of my friends list. If I accidentally cut you, let me know privately, okay?

Occupy Atlanta Media Committee

Participants in Occupy Atlanta met with Chief Turner and his staff today and were warned that the police intended to enforce the city ordinances against camping and against being in the park after 11 pm.

Statement:

Here in the "city too busy to hate," the city where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was born, attended college, and preached, we come to speak our own dreams.
We believe that the American political process is so corrupted by the influx of lobbyists, "free speech" corporate cash, and politicians beholden to both that it has failed us completely.

Our only option left is to occupy public spaces in order to assert our right to freely assemble and to redress our grievances, rights guaranteed to us by the First Amendment. Exerting that right has ironically become an act of civil disobedience, a fact which points out exactly what the problem really is. We owe no obedience to laws which abridge our Constitutional rights.

We need as many people to come down to Woodruff Park ASAP!

So, right. That was just released. Meanwhile, I just took two benadryl because I can't go more than a minute or so without coughing, and snot is running down my throat in rivulets. I'm not sick. It's allergies. The beast has eaten me alive. So, I can't even go down there with a video camera right now to stand on the sidewalk legally and let the ATL police know that the world will see what they do. They are going to wait until night. They are going to wait until numbers are few. They are going to wait, and arrest everyone and take them away. They are trying to stop our movement in Atlanta before it's even truly started walking.

Honestly, at this point, it'll work, too. Arrests will not bring reinforcements. I can't really say that in a for sure sort of way, but... yeah. We aren't well connected down here. In Atlanta, the people staying in the park are mostly those with no connections. Those who were well connected went to New York. Down here, people are just trying too hard to survive to be able to show their face somewhere that might endanger their ability to get the checks that are keeping them from entirely drowning.

I don't know what's going to happen. I do know that currently, the largest allies of the ATL GA are occupythehood. I'm tired, and worried.

Wow. Michael has been found. He's at the hospital. He is very dehydrated, and has kidney failure. He's alive, though, and his family is by his side. I just can't stop crying.

Wonderful news: Philip gained weight so well that the doctor came in in the afternoon and sent Russell and I home with the babies. We just did their 5 o clock feeding (with new bottles/nipples/higher calorie formula for him, the regular stuff that was working for her for her) and they both ate well and happy and fast (a half hour!).

I do a follow up on Friday (I have to schedule that tomorrow), but things look awesome for Philip. Happy, happy!

On my way home from work, for reasons I still can't fathom, instead of switching from I-20 west to 285 North, I got off at Wesley Chapel. I rolled through the gas station and got a drink, then got back onto the road, switching onto South Hairston as it is techincally possible to get home from there, just much more time consuming then zipping by on the freeways. Rolling through South Hairston I look across the street and notice some smoke. I look again. Hey, that's a lot of smoke. Look again. Holy shit, that's a lot of smoke. I turn around and get on the other side of the road. Holy crap is that a lot of smoke suddenly. I am on the phone to 911 as I turn the corner. Cars are zipping by. Noone is looking. I stop in the middle of the road with my hazards on, giving the 911 operator the house number, and trying to remember, and telling the operator that it's Wesley Chapel and not Covington that is the closest intersection.

I notice a for sale sign out front. Please, god, let the house be empty. Let them have moved out. The house is starting to get bright. I can almost see a fire deep inside of it. 12 seconds pass.. 20. They feel like ten minutes, twenty. Flames break through the windows. Noone is stopping. Noone cares. Flames are dancing on the side of the house while I am calmly telling the woman on the phone where I am and how to get here.

Another car finally stops. They see me on the phone. I ask if they live here, and they ask if anyone lives here. Confusing. They just stopped. Noone else had/has called 911. An ambulance pulls up. It's way too late for anyone inside. The place is rolling flames. Nothing is inside but fire. I pull my car out of the way of fire trucks I hope are here soon. I tell the 911 operator that this is a wooded area. The trucks must be here soon or else the entire neighborhood will catch. I get out of the car and ask the neighbors further up if they know if anyone lives here. Noone does. The family moved out a week or two ago. Fire trucks arrive. I run to the ambulance and tell them not to even think about killing themselves. The house is vacant, on the neighbors say so. Eventually I count 7 trucks. They are trying to keep it from spreading. This house is gone. Within 2 minutes, this house is gone. The roof is catching and the power lines are sparking off one by one. The road is a dense fog of smoke and soot. Flying flaming debris is everywhere. You can't drive through the road anymore, and now, now cars are stopping. Now there are people on the phone. The trees are on fire, and the people are just getting around to noticing something and doing something about it.

The neighbors say that the owner was just there about 15 minutes ago, cutting the lawn. He had only pulled out a few minutes ago. This all happened near instaneously.

The firemen manage to put the fire out on the side so the fire doesn't spread next door instantly (as it was about to), but the trees overhead have caught, and they are working on those. I'm crying and I'm not sure whether it's the smoke or the intensity or the situation. Standing on the street, at least 200 feet from the house, the heat is intense. The firecrew mostly are wearing masks. Not a lot of them seem to be near the fire, or even working on it. Just a couple guys. I wonder why there are seven trucks and maybe six men working. I realise that I have no clue what to do, so shouldn't armchair quarterback the fireguys. I'm sure as fuck positive there is shit going down that I don't know how to deal with it, and they're freaking trained. They're doing their job right. These fuckers were willing to walk into that dance of flames and death to rescue cinders of people, if there were any. Shut the fuck up, Janel. Stand down, back off.

I feel like I'm gawking. I wipe my tears off with my hands that smell like smoke and I get in my car and drive home.

Why did I come this way? I have never come this way home, and am not completely positive I know the way, as I have only once used it to go to work and not from. The surrounding houses would have caught fire if it had waited until the other cars stopped. Is this how it always works? Does someone always notice? Is someone always nudged in the right direction? If I had been wanting to stop for a soda, especially when I already have a soda on me, from work. I would have stopped one exit up at Panola because there's a QuikTrip there. Nothing conveniant here. I don't know why I pulled off where I did. I don't know why I was there when I was. I don't feel guided. I don't feel like there was a voice telling me to stop. To leave work late, to stop at the wrong damn exit for a drink, to then continue on the wrong damn way that I barely know. I just feel like... point A, point B, point C. One event leading into another which lead into me being right there and calling before it was too late. It almost was. It happened so quickly, and noone seemed to notice. The woman who had stopped a bit after me said that she thought it was a car on fire and was stopping to help, as she just saw a little smoke. Why did I see more? Why did I notice and get concerned. I really don't know.

I don't know.

Hey kids!

Remember to always log out of your okcupid account when you aren't there.

His punishment for doing this time and time again is that it won't be changed until December, 19th at 12:49 PM. Be sure to message him if he's a good match for you! And please, feel free to post this to your livejournal!

Everybody wants to be right, always. They want everyone to understand their motivations, everyone to agree with everything they do. When they mess up, they want other people to understand why it happened, and assure them that they understand, that it's no big deal, that it can happen to anyone.

When someone gets mad at you, do you immediately go on the defensive? Do you want to explain how nothing you did was wrong, and have them apologise for being mad? When you're mad at someone, are you open to seeing their side of things? Are you open to believing that you misconstrued, misperceived, or misjudged?

Do you really and truly want the issue to be resolved, or do you want to be vindicated in your views?

Have an open heart.

The person that you are at odds with is, in many ways, yourself.

What is most frustrating in having someone mad at you is what it says about you. If you didn't care about someone else's assessment of you, or perhaps didn't feel that this assessment is true on some level, or perhaps didn't feel like this assessment has been made before and you don't understand why, you would shake it off and walk away. But, you care. So, why do you care? Do you care about their judgement? Why? Are they someone who you put value on? Are their judgements often true? Do you feel that these judgements are true about you and you are unhappy with that part of yourself? Did you actually find yourself doing something that you are truly unhappy with and now you don't want to face that? Do you feel that these judgements of you are untrue, but have been made multiple times in the past and you want to understand why you are judged in that particular way? What is it about the issue that bothers you?

Approach that. Honestly. Discover what it is inside you that bothers you about the issue. At that point, go to person you are at odds with. Explain your thinking and what about the situations hurts you. Do not be defensive, do not be offensive. Do not be quick to judge. Do not be sensitive to them understanding you. You are simply giving your side. It is up to them to take it or not. You can't force someone else to do anything, or understand anything. They might be quite hurt and confused right now. Maybe they feel rejected. Maybe they feel that you don't care about them. Maybe they feel that you do not value them. Maybe they feel that you don't understand them. Whatever they feel, know that they are hurt.

Is your hurt more important than listening to them? You might be entirely in the right, but that doesn't really mean *anything*. Life is a learning experience. You can't learn anything if you are not open to replacing what you already know. This doesn't mean changing who you are. It simply means being open to new ideas. If you are too busy being "right" to listen to someone else's ideas of how things are for them, then you will never learn anything. You will not learn more about yourself, you will not learn more about the world, you will not learn more about people, and you will not learn more about the particular person in question.

What you learn from these things are varied. Sometimes you learn how you should change (the way you look at things, the way you act). Sometimes you learn how other people should change (which you can't control, so let this one out of your hands). Sometimes you learn that particular people and you do not mesh, or that your way of moving about the universe is diametrically opposed to theirs and that you would do best to not move about the universe together.

All of these lessons on apology and an open heart were learned slowly by me at various times in my life (I have a lot of experience in being wrong), but most were taught by my ex husband in the 10+ years of our relationship. These thoughts were inspired by a conversation that I had with someone where they came to me and told me that someone was mad at them and asked what they could do. I laid it out in easy to digest pile, and offered up my experiences and thoughts. I don't know that they are actually in a place where they can *hear* these ideas. But, hey, maybe you are. Maybe these ideas can do something for you. Maybe you have something to offer, also, on the subject of apology and keeping an open heart.

Two turtles. Very sweet. Male and female, russian tortoises. They come with a habitat, it's 8'-4' but can be reduced to 4'-4'. Russians can be inside or outside turtles, but the habitat that we have currently is an inside habitat. They eat vegetables. Mostly lettuces (no iceberg, things like romaine and such). They are very very very cute but unfortunately, we need to find another home for them. They are approximately the size of hand or so.
Turtles make easy pets, are very sweet and nice. Please please please help. Pictures are available if anyone wants pictures. We have really been looking for homes for them for over a year, but haven't had any luck. We live in the greater Atlanta area, but you would have to do the driving. Feel free to link this to any community you know of where it might be appropriate.

Yah. So, here's some Star Wars thoughts I've been having lately, in no particular order or attempt to necessarily connect them. ( So full of spoilers that you should probably skip it if you haven't seen the latest. )

13: Finally, I do like the stories, and I even want to own the whole damn movie series, eventually. But as it stands right now, I want the books, more. Read Revenge of the Sith, am reading Labryinth of Evil, will read Clone Wars (and rent that, hear it's good little cartoon) and the original 3, but want suggestions as to where to read next. I am actually interested beyond Anakin and his sultry dreamy evil hotness. Seriously. Wanna know about Luke and Leia and them training Jedi's and all of that future stuff, too. What do I need to get my hands on? Should I actually ask my brother? (gasp)?